托福写作∣如何避免重复信息的出现

　　在学生所写的托福作文中，经常出现重复信息，这不仅体现在由于观点欠缺而写出来的“车轱辘话”，同义词匮乏也是导致此现象的原因之一。

　　想让所写出的文字精炼简洁，有一条捷径就是使用代词或合并句子中的次要信息，下面就为同学们支几招。

　　例一：

　　If teenagers spend a lot of time playing on the Internet， teenagers will become lazy. Teenagers will get into trouble at school.

　　用代词改进的第一版本：

　　If teenagers spend a lot of time playing on the Internet， they will become lazy. They will get into trouble at school.

　　通过阅读不难发现，前两个主语其实是有主有次，在网上花了很多时间的青少年往往会变得懒惰，而且他们在学校中会遇到麻烦。

　　用定语和并列改进的第二版本：

　　Teenagers who spend a lot of time playing on the Internet will become lazy and will get into trouble at school.

　　例二：

　　Computers can be very helpful，but computers can also be a big problem for people. If people spend too much time working on the computer，people will get muscle and back problems. The muscle and back problems can lead to lower work productivity，and the muscle and back problems can cause a lot of pain and distress as well.

　　用代词改进的第一版本：

　　Computers can be very helpful，but they can also be a big problem for people. If they spend too much time working on the computer， they will get muscle and back problems. This can lead to lower work productivity， and this can cause a lot of pain and distress as well.

　　用定语改进的第二版本：

　　Computers can be very helpful，but they can also be a big problem. People who spend too much time working on the computer will get muscle and back problems，which can lead to lower work productivity，a lot of pain and distress as well.

　　例三：

　　Cars are convenient and cars give us a lot of freedom， but cars can also cause a lot of problems. For example， cars cause air pollution， and if there are too many cars on the roads， too many cars on the roads can cause congestion and traffic jams.

　　用代词改进的第一版本：

　　Cars are convenient and give us a lot of freedom， but they can also cause a lot of problems. For example，cars cause air pollution， and if there are too many cars on the roads，this can cause congestion and traffic jams.

　　用定语及合并改进的第二版本：

　　Cars are convenient and give us a lot of freedom，but they can also cause a lot of problems. For example，too many cars on the roads can cause congestion and pollution.